Be careful what you wish for
by Natarie
Summary: She was possibly, possibly somewhere in the South Pacific, which meant she'd barely left Tanegashima, could be as far as thirteen-thousand kilometers from her intended destination, and her mission had been a complete failure. I Dream of Jeannie AU with Sakura as Major Tony Nelson, Shikamaru as Jeannie, and Sasuke as the fiance who disappears after the pilot for a tumblr prompt


A/N: A fill for the prompt "I really like the dynamic btw Sakura and Shikamaru (mostly in fanfictions since, tbh, they don't interact that much in canon). Could you write something about them? Like, the aftermath of the war or them playing board games, I don't know. Brotp or romance, either is fine." over at my tumblr (username magicabout)

Cross-post with my ao3 account (same username as here)-where you can find a larger version of the cover art

* * *

Sakura yanked her helmet off as she emerged from the still-smoking capsule. She barely refrained from kicking the scorched alloy—she didn't need a broken foot on top of everything else. It took some fumbling and angry snarls, but she managed to remove her clunky gloves and the oversized suit, stripping off layers until she was comfortable enough to look around. **  
**

Smooth white sand, crystalline waters, and blistering heat greeted her. Sakura shaded her eyes against the glare and did calculations in her head. Judging from the last readings the computer had been giving her before it shorted out—time since launch, relative altitude, projected descent trajectory, velocity, wind speed and direction, and the picture postcard-perfect scenery around her—

Abruptly Sakura swore and viciously kicked her helmet, watching in satisfaction as it flew a good distance away and sent up a spray of sand on landing.

 _Shit!_ She was possibly, _possibly_ somewhere in the South Pacific, which meant she'd barely left Tanegashima, could be as far as thirteen-thousand kilometers from her intended destination, and her mission had been a complete failure. Sighing, she dragged her hand through her sweaty bangs. Her stupid ship hadn't even had the decency to land in the water, so she'd never tested the external marine/terrestrial navigation controls. The techies would be so disappointed. Kami, billions of yen wasted on a failed experimental space capsule. The press for this was going to be a nightmare.

Morosely she stuck her head back in the ship to get a better look at the damage, but though the smoke had stopped the dashboard was still fried, which meant the global comm-sat array was dead too. The ship had a better protected and less high tech backup locator, but the signal was weak and they'd have to get the satellites in position to find it, a process that would take a few hours. She was stuck here until then.

Groaning in disgust at everything, Sakura trudged off to retrieve her helmet. She detoured around the ship to assess the state of it and admire the gouge it had carved in the beach during landing, the worst of the damage concealed by the rising tide.

Thankfully the situation wasn't all bad. The ship was in good condition and could be salvaged by the engineers to assess what had gone wrong. Though it hadn't survived a true exit and re-entry of the atmosphere there would still be valuable data to collect. Also, it hadn't exploded and killed her.

She walked over to give the metal tin can a grudging pat, and promptly tripped face-first in the sand. Sputtering, she glared over her shoulder for the culprit and rubbed grit out of her eyes in astonishment.

There was a sake bottle half buried in the sand. Sakura would know that shape anywhere. It was the really old-fashioned earthenware jug kind, she saw when she picked it up, and didn't recognize the maker's mark on the pottery. Half disbelieving—had her failed mission accidentally turned up an ancient bottle of sake?—she pulled the cork and took an experimental sniff.

The cloud of acrid smoke that billowed out had her reeling back in surprise as she coughed and her eyes watered. Sakura held the bottle at arm's length, squinting suspiciously at it as she caught her breath. Nothing else happened and she briefly thought to look for the source of the smoke, but it would be terminally stupid to make the same mistake twice and she was going to need all her patience for later. Snorting, Sakura put the bottle back where she'd found it and returned to the ship for her emergency rations.

Cracking the seal on a bottle of water, she turned to make for the shade of the palm trees further up the beach and jumped in surprise. There was a man watching her a short distance away.

She hadn't seen anything nearby that indicated human presence, but she wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Pasting on her best Public Relations Smile, she held up both hands in a friendly gesture to show that she had nothing except the water.

"Excuse me," she called, "do you have a phone? I need to get back to Japan." She gestured helpfully at the ruined ship behind her.

He didn't say anything, still staring at her. The man was wearing sandals, loose pants, and a shirt left casually unbuttoned over his tanned—and rather fit—chest. He was dressed like the kind of generic beachcomber you could probably find on beaches the world over, but he didn't respond when she repeated her question in English and Mandarin. Sakura swallowed nervously, worried she was in for a frustrating game of charades to get help.

Just as she was preparing to mime "I am not an alien and would like to use the nearest communication device take me to it please" he spoke, thankfully in perfectly intelligible Japanese.

"Well, I've had worse. You'll do." His eyes rolled heavenward in apparent supplication and he sighed the weariest sigh she'd ever heard. "My name is Shikamaru. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mistress."

"Shikamaru" bowed then, deeper than necessary but with such a laconic air the gesture came off so ironic it bordered on rude.

Sakura blinked.

"What… 'Mistress?' _Me?_ "

He shrugged.

"Or 'Master,' 'Lady,' 'Sir'— Pick one, I don't care."

Sakura shook off her incredulity; charades would have been easier than this nonsense.

"Whatever. That doesn't matter. Do you have a cellphone I can use?"

He cocked his head and folded his arms over his chest. Sakura ignored what the movement did for his pectorals.

"If that is my Mistress's wish."

"Fine, yes, I wish for a cellphone."

She held her hand out irritably, but instead of doing anything like, say, producing a mobile from his pocket, Shikamaru idly reached up and scratched the back of his neck. Sakura frowned and opened her mouth before deciding she didn't want to play Twenty Questions with this weirdo.

Huffing irritably, she made her way up the beach to her original destination, taking a long swig of water once she'd found a nice patch of shade. She looked to see what had become of the annoying beachcomber, only to goggle in surprise. He'd disappeared while she'd been distracted, and the beach was empty.

Well, good. Maybe the idiot had gone to find a phone, or someone who could actually help. Sakura pillowed her head on the emergency pack and settled down to wait.

She was awoken some time later by the rumble of a motor and the sound of far-off shouts. Apparently she'd landed in _Okinawa_ , of all places—JAXA could have chartered a plane for less. The fishermen who'd found her had access to cellular phones, thank all the kami. In the excitement and subsequent attempt to explain her situation to the Japan Coast Guard she forgot all about her bizarre encounter with the beach bum.

* * *

"Yes I'm _fine_ ," Sakura sighed as she fit her key in the lock. "Kaa-san, you don't— No, I'm just- I'm _tired_. Yes, yes, I know. Okay. Uh-huh. Love you too. And tell Tou-san to get off Lifeblum. I know he thinks he's being supportive, but it's really embarrassing. No, I haven't checked- I _just_ got home, but I know how he is. Right. Bye."

She slumped against her front door and sighed again, then raised an eyebrow at Naruto camped out on her couch. Her friend was chewing on a stub of pencil as he flipped through a messy stack of papers, two different things playing from her TV and his laptop, and more paper scattered around the couch. He spat out his pencil to grin at her.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! You look awful."

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, Naruto," she said dryly.

Just as she'd expected, the press had been _horrid_. After arranging transportation back to Tanegashima she'd had to pleasantly assure the assembled media that she was fine and they'd be able to salvage something from the test flight, only to be whisked off for debriefing after debriefing after testing and a chance to tell the engineers the exact same thing she'd just explained three different times. They'd eventually let her leave, but the capsule's failure would affect her training schedule for at least the next few months, which meant none of this was going away anytime soon.

She was exhausted and all too aware she looked like crap. Her best friend only shrugged.

"I'm glad you're okay, though. Have you called Teme yet? He's been trying to reach you since your probe went off course."

"'Space capsule,' Naruto. This isn't a science fiction movie where I beam up livestock, you know." She shook her head wearily before he could reply. "Did anything happen while I was gone?"

"Oh! Umeko-chan and Chiyo-kun finally admitted their feelings to each other."

Sakura looked and— Yes, her TV was currently playing an episode of _Guiding Stroke_. Despite her mood she couldn't help a snort of amusement. The mission failing meant she was home sooner than expected, and it wasn't as if anything significant would've happened while Naruto was apartment-sitting.

"Good to know," she said dryly. "Any ideas?"

"Some, but…" He trailed off and frowned at the papers in his lap, before looking up in confusion and reaching for the next stack.

Sakura paused on her way into the kitchen to watch him scramble, but the brief flicker of interest couldn't sustain her flagging energy levels. She found herself leaning in the doorway for support. Naruto found whatever he was looking for with a loud "Aha!" He glanced at her and flushed guiltily when he saw her yawning.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan, I'll let you get some rest."

She accepted the kiss on the cheek with a muffled goodbye and finally shook herself upright as he was leaving. Thankfully one of the benefits of having Naruto around was that the kettle never needed filling. Sakura cranked the burner up and went to find the tea.

Her phone vibrated as she was pouring the water, and she nearly groaned in disgust until she saw who it was. If she ignored him and called back tomorrow he'd accept her excuses, but having to call her mom or Naruto to find out if she was alright was a shitty thing to do to her fiance. Sakura sighed and propped her mobile on the countertop so he'd be too far away to see how awful she looked in the video feed.

"Hey."

"Sakura." His dark eyes swept over her and she smiled automatically. "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Just tired."

"They kept you too long."

"I would've had to stay longer if the mission had been a success."

"Hn. The Dobe left already?" He didn't wait for an answer, seeing as there was no blonde idiot trying to butt into the conversation. "Do you want me to come stay with you?"

The flash of warmth was old and familiar, though muted. She appreciated that Sasuke offered, but maintaining the pretense was harder when he was around and she just wasn't up for it right now.

"No, no. You're all the way in—"

"Munich," he supplied.

"Munich, right. No, I don't want to get in the way of your work."

"This is important, Sakura. I can be there in six hours. Five, if the jet's already fueled and prepped." He raised his voice. "Karin—"

"It's fine, Sasuke," she said before he could get any further. "They'll leave me alone long enough to get some rest. If you were here you'd just be watching me sleep. Go do your thing. I'll see you when you get back."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, really. I'm going to collapse in bed after this."

"Aa."

Sasuke paused, awkward for the first time since she'd picked up the phone.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she replied, falsely bright.

They hung up and Sakura gave into the urge to groan, long and heartfelt.

"Somehow I get the impression there was more going on in that call."

She yelped and almost spilled her tea. Standing in her kitchen, hands in his pockets as he regarded her, was the weirdo from the beach.

Sakura gaped.

She'd half-convinced herself the encounter on the beach was a stress-based hallucination, or, barring that, a coincidental meeting with the island's local eccentric. But here he was in all his sun-tanned glory, looking just as real beneath the fluorescent lights in her kitchen as he had on the glowing sand of the beach.

"You!" She struggled for words. Her day had been tiring enough _before_ this, damnit! "What— What are you doing here?"

"Ah." He stared at her blankly for a moment before reaching up to scratch the back of his head. "I forgot to explain that part, didn't I?"

He shrugged and nodded at her.

"I'm a genie. You're my Master. I grant wishes."

He seemed satisfied three paltry statements were enough to explain everything. Sakura didn't even know where to start.

" _What?_ "

He—hadn't he said before his name was Shikamaru?—rolled his eyes as if _she_ was being the difficult one.

"Like I said: I'm a genie. You found my bottle so I serve you by granting your wishes."

Being an astronaut meant Sakura was at the peak of mental and physical strength; she had to be, for all the things she was subjected to. So as ridiculous as this seemed, Sakura couldn't deny the reality of Shikamaru in her kitchen and gave his words due consideration.

"If you're supposed to grant wishes… Why didn't you give me a cellphone when I _asked_ for it?"

"You didn't specify how you wanted it," he said, as if it was obvious. "Diverting those fishermen was easiest."

Sakura's jaw dropped in outrage. "Easiest" would have been for him to magic, or whatever he did, a phone into her hand, _not_ to send some random fishermen out of their way to find her. Any idiot would have known that!

But apparently not "her" "genie," who was now looking around her kitchen with an air of idle boredom. Sakura huffed. She was too tired for arguments with stupid genies.

"So? You going to explain what was up with that call?"

Sakura took a sip of tea, frowning harder when she realized it was cold.

There was no way she would tell him she was affianced to a childhood friend because there had been no one else and their mothers had talked them into it, with the result that the lack of romance was hurting the love she'd had for him as a friend. _She_ didn't like thinking about it when she was by herself. Strange men claiming to be genies she'd just met didn't get to know her life story.

"No. Isn't there some way to make you leave?"

He raised an eyebrow and Sakura took another sip to help wash down her annoyance.

"Fine. I _wish_ you'd leave."

"Okay." Shikamaru shrugged—Sakura was beginning to suspect she'd grow to hate that gesture—scratched the back of his neck, and walked into her living room.

"I'll just be over here then," his voice said.

She'd deserved that, especially after he'd just told her to be specific. Sakura sighed and gave up on the tea. She went to put her mug on the countertop and paused. Standing next to the vase she kept kitchen utensils in was a familiar battered earthenware jug. Shikamaru's genie bottle, she realized belatedly.

A sudden yawn made her stumble, her jaw cracking as she braced herself against the countertop. She could hear the TV turn on in the next room—genies watched TV?—but her desire to investigate was stifled by another yawn.

Figuring out what was going on with her troublesome genie could wait until she'd had some sleep.


End file.
